Sasha and I had had sex pretty much the first time we were alone together. Mostly because, given our introduction, it seemed like a stupid line to draw especially on the beach with the Rapture lapping at our feet. I’m sure Grace would have been disappointed. Falling back on cultural norms at the brink of crisis? Oh well. It looked like my lack of commitment to a more subversive sexual orientation was just going to be another way I failed the revolution. I tried to examine it through a critical lens. But I just saw people.

Download: ZAZEN, Chapter 30 — “Tiny Liver Hearts” (pdf)

The Story: It’s the very near-future, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest—or a neighborhood near you. 27-year-old Della Mylinek has suffered some kind of breakdown after failing to stop the construction of a local Walmart. In an attempt to regain psychological, financial and emotional stability, she’s moved in with her brother and his pregnant wife and taken a job waiting tables at a vegan restaurant. But her anger remains, and one thing leads to another…

“Zazen” Keywords: geology, veganism, the apocalypse, urban planning, yoga, sex parties, bombs, anarchism, aging new-left revolutionaries, strip malls, paleontology, dark hippies, transcendentalism, lavender hair dye.

The Author: Vanessa Veselka is a writer and musician living in Portland, Oregon. She has been, at various times, a teenage runaway, a sex-worker, a union organizer, a student of paleontology, an expatriate, an independent record label owner, a train-hopper, a waitress and a mother. Her work has appeared in Bust, Bitch, Maximum Rock ’n’ Roll, Yeti Magazine and Tin House. Zazen is her first novel. She is online at vanessaveselka.wordpress.com

The Serial: This is the concluding chapter of Zazen. Special thanks to Karin Bolender for making this project possible. Previous chapters are available for free download after the jump…

ZAZEN, Chapter 29 — “Della’s Mosaic” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 28 — “The Skateboard Sutta” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 27 — “Batholith” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 26 — “Road to Laos” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 25 — “La Rue des Oiseux” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 24 — “Hazard Maps”
ZAZEN, Chapter 23 — “Disco” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 22 — “Deer Teeth” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 21 — “Into the Snow” (62k, pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 20 — “Dancehall” (pdf, 99k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 19 — “The Sea Goat” (pdf, 57k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 18 — “Grace Mountain” (pdf)
ZAZEN, Chapter 17 — “The Avalanche Cabin” (pdf, 66k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 16 — “Breath of Soldiers” (pdf, 83k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 15 — “Head of John the Baptist” (pdf, 75k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 14 — “Two Rivers” (pdf, 84k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 13 — “Manifestation” (pdf, 94k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 12 — “Colony of the Elect” (pdf, 58k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 11 — “Church of Enlightened Capital” (pdf, 65k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 10 — “Venus Rodere” (pdf, 64k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 9 — “The Rat Queen” (pdf, 87k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 8 — “Lagerstätte” (pdf, 61k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 7 — “Cherry Blossoms” (pdf, 75k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 6 — “Aerial Map of Carnage” (pdf, 76k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 5 — “1 800 buy COAL” (pdf, 88k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 4 — “Asian Market” (pdf, 56k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 3 — “New Haiku” (pdf, 64k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 2 — “Pregnant Rats” (pdf, 81k)
ZAZEN, Chapter 1 — “Burning Ants” (pdf, 79k)